The worst part of fostering is the uncertainty of everything…when will I have a baby? When will I not? The next worst is the lack of permanency…need to say goodbye over and over. But the benefit is the breaks that you get from parenting that no one else gets. Saying goodbye to our first was both sad and… a little great!
I took this time to reevaluate and refresh . . . there is a release and relief. We are still doing everything in our power to move forward with our family and parenting goals and we are fully available to children in need in our state. But we have no responsibility to them this second and we get a little mini-vacation! My partner gets to focus on his art and I get to actually do something other than work/baby/work/baby. Instead of focusing on the “what comes next” I focused on letting go and “what can I do now?!”
It turns out, if you actually just freaking let go for a minute, it’s possible to still have fun as an adult even with all the stupid adult responsibilities and stressors! I went to the farmer’s market, to brunch with friends, I painted my toenails, I played stick with the dogger, and I went to a Star Trek pub crawl at the very last minute, entirely unplanned.
I even rode my bike to the pub crawl instead of Lyfting. I felt 25 again!
Fostering is full of stress and uncertainty. Thinking of the time between placements as a time to refresh and recommit feels like a genius piece of self-care.