People keep asking me if I know what is wrong. Here’s the thing – nobody knows why I can’t grow a baby. As far as we know, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG. Women get older and it is HARD for many of them to have a baby. We are currently living in a new normal, where women have babies at every age. “My friend got pregnant at 41, surprise! And had her first baby!”. Well fucking GREAT for your friend! But the reason we talk about those stories is because they are rare. As women age, it is just harder for us to have a baby. I know it looks like EVERYONE is doing it – but a lot of people are silent about their journey. About how hard it can be just to GET pregnant and how fucking awful and miserable it is to have that moment of excitement followed by the physical and emotional depression of that end.
There is a REASON that Beyonce is having twins. There is a REASON that Amal Clooney is having twins. There is a reason that so, so, many people are having twins. Or triplets. Because we are making choices to create emotional and economic stability for our children – only to find that as a result of responsibility, and planning, and waiting for the right time, we now cannot have them. And if I was rich, honestly, immediately after that first miscarriage, I would have run right out and thrown my body onto the alter of science – I love certainty, and with enough money and time I too could be pretty certain of dancing down the street with multiples up in there. There is nothing wrong. This is NORMAL.