The last few weeks have been both amazing and hard. Baby(x)2 and I went to parties THREE Saturdays in a row! Space Exploration party, a housewarming party, and then a downright amazing Willy Wonka themed party for which our TV Room outfits were SICK! Clearly we have science – or at least costumes – for any occasion. 
It was really great to get out and be with people especially before baby gets too old to just keep her contained and calm in the ring-sling. Have I sung the praises of the ring-sling yet? If not, let me extoll its virtues! The Moby-type wraps are lovely for like…a hot minute with a tiny tiny infant, but there’s a bit of a learning curve to getting it on, and once your baby is able to acknowledge it is outside the womb, it’s not really that effective anymore. (If you are looking for one, there are always tons for cheap on Craigslist and you can even make your own with a long piece of stretchy fabric fairly easily). Ergo/Baby Bjorn, etc. are great – especially for long-wearing, walks, and apparently men, who seem to not love the ring-sling as much as the women I know. BUT the RING SLING for me, is the BEST. Baby can look around and be part of life as long as she wants, she can go to sleep fairly comfortably when she wants, and I can put the tail of the thing over her head to keep her calm and block out light. The tail can be twisted for neck support for a tiny baby. It’s compact and easy to pack, it’s more attractive to wear than other slings, and it’s not bulky while you are wearing it. For obvi reasons this does not apply to baby and I, but I am reliably informed you can breast feed inside it. Ring-sling YASSS!! Here’s a handy tutorial on threading your sling, which can be a bit of a learning curve as well, but gets pretty natural pretty fast. I have two, so I can have a spare when I am washing. I am considering getting more just for pretty color variety since I wear them all the time. I just sent an ADORABLE Totoro ring-sling off to my besties with new baby across the country!
In addition to partying with baby each Saturday, I worked my ass off last month, and I can say with absolute confidence that I did it all. I killed my hourly requirements, plus wrote an article (that I sadly don’t love but hey, it’s DONE) and got it to the publisher today. I’ve been half on a working vacation the last few days because I am just so exhausted…but having that time with partner and baby has been SO FREAKING MAGICAL. When I work a lot, I mostly see my partner for mere moments in the morning and evening and therefor mostly see his reasonable frustration and stress about full-time-stay-at-home parenting – which then stresses me out. Having us both home a reasonable amount of time gave us a chance to enjoy being together with each other and the baby. Whatever happens in the future, this is our first baby and I need it to be special even while it’s hard. And the last few weeks recently there has been!
But there have also been the true and honest frustrations of new baby raising. Baby got her first vaccinations last week (YAY! personal and herd immunity!) She got a fever and was so sad and fussy for the next 48 hours. Not unusual. And my partner was so traumatized by her little sad sounds, he literally stayed up entirely overnight with her, and then I stayed home with her the next day. She got through it and is great…but since that day, she has entirely refused to sleep in her bassinet. Before that, we had JUST reached a schedule that had her sleeping up to four hours in a row at night. Now, holding her, fine, she will happily sleep four hours at night. But put her in a bassinet and she is up not her prior maddening every two hours but a new and improved every 20 minutes to half an hour. We are both. so. tired.
A few days ago, my partner tried putting baby to sleep and then putting her down only to have her wake four times in an hour. In frustration, he finally woke me up for my half of the night and I started the same process… to sleep, immediate awake, UGH to sleep, immediate awake… As I was rocking her back to sleep for the third time in 45 minutes (with great tiredness and frustration) I moved to stand up just as my giant 18 lb man-cat jumped for his usual spot on my lap in front of the baby. My momentum pushed him off and he grabbed the seat and my leg with his claws. As I stood there, at 2:30 a.m, with an 18 lb cat hanging off my leg, feeling his one solidly hooked claw moving ever deeper into my thigh, unable to make a sound or I would wake up the sleeping baby, with tears pouring down my face ,and blood pouring down my leg, I really did take a minute to question my life choices. In some ways, it was such an extreme moment it jump-started my head; this is fucking absurd and it can’t possibly stay like this forever, I just have to get through it! But really, that didn’t kick in until the next day. In the moment it was just an endless “what if I just can’t do this?” But I did. We did. And we will!