August 2017 – I Can Haz Baby

The worst part of fostering is the uncertainty of everything…when will I have a baby? When will I not? The next worst is the lack of permanency…need to say goodbye over and over. But the benefit is the breaks that you get from parenting that no one else gets. Saying goodbye to our first was both sad and… a little great!

I took this time to reevaluate and refresh . . . there is a release and relief. We are still doing everything in our power to move forward with our family and parenting goals and we are fully available to children in need in our state. But we have no responsibility to them this second and we get a little mini-vacation! My partner gets to focus on his art and I get to actually do something other than work/baby/work/baby. Instead of focusing on the “what comes next” I focused on letting go and “what can I do now?!”

It turns out, if you actually just freaking let go for a minute, it’s possible to still have fun as an adult even with all the stupid adult responsibilities and stressors! I went to the farmer’s market, to brunch with friends, I painted my toenails, I played stick with the dogger, and I went to a Star Trek pub crawl at the very last minute, entirely unplanned.

I even rode my bike to the pub crawl instead of Lyfting. I felt 25 again!

Fostering is full of stress and uncertainty. Thinking of the time between placements as a time to refresh and recommit feels like a genius piece of self-care.

We have our first foster baby placement! And the very first thing I did was run out and google the hell out of fostering one year olds. And I found…nothing much useful! But I was still reassured by the blogs I did find.

So here is my small useful things:

You might freak out! If you can, freak out in advance. I unintentionally chose this method and it worked out great – it was terrible in advance but once the baby arrived I was pretty calm. My husband waited and freaked out when baby arrived. I recommend this less – then you have two stressors! But, you might not be able to choose how this goes!
Ask baby’s size and eating habits. You will not likely be able to get any of the serious important information you want – but these two pieces of information will let you prepare in every practical way.
One year olds can eat most foods. Stock up on a veggies, fruits, and grains. Do not shop in the baby aisle, holy fuck that is a bunch of CRAP they are peddling… more expensive and less or non-nutritious. It’s not hard to cook for babies, and if you are working full time, cook on Sunday and you are basically good for the week.
I think four sleep outfits are the most important. It didn’t matter if we used disposable or cloth diapers, our baby wet through every single night. Not worrying if we had to do laundry RIGHT NOW in order to put baby to sleep was very relieving. Clothing was simply less important – a few outfits will do in a pinch.
One year olds are super mobile, ready to learn, ready to play, and want as much interaction as possible. They are a lot easier than a newborn because they can eat, can sleep long periods (overnight if you are lucky!), and are not floppy and fragile. They like two naps a day if possible. They are harder than a newborn because they need and want constant direct supervision. If your house is not entirely baby-proofed, you need to be ON TOP OF IT. In the future, we will be rearranging the house so that everything within small baby arms

There you go! No panicking! First placement is so exciting!